Friday, February 10, 2006

It's a lesbian thing...

While I was in Vancouver this week I had dinner with my close friend C and her lovely partner, T. This astounded many of my colleagues, who earnestly questioned whether things were all right at home, and if my wife knew what I was doing. They claimed to be looking out for my welfare. I was confused. Don't they go out with friends?

"But she's your EX!" they cried. "You don't go out with your EX!" "I'd kill my husband if he was seeing his ex!"

Lesbians are defined by a vast number of stereotypes. Being a community of ex's is one of the most famous, along with the need for a UHaul on the second date and the fruit basket turnover at the start of softball season. (Wait - I suppose fbt is part of the community of ex's thing...) We have been known to form attachments quickly and deeply. And many of us have maintained close bonds with those who were once our one true love. C&T were the witnesses when X and I got married, and hosted our wedding in their home!

C and I have figured that we've been family in all our past lives, but we had never done the partner thing - and we do "family" better than we do "partner." Makes sense to me...

I do think that the whole "being friends with your ex" thing - while not totally unique to my people - is something that lesbians do better than straight folks. It isn't onesizefitsall... I have an ex or two that I'd cross the street to avoid. But on the whole - I really like the fact that someone who has known me so well for so long, is the same someone I can count on now...

It's a lesbian thing...

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