If you're looking for me...

These days you're likely to find me playing online poker. I'm not sure how I caught the bug - but I've got it bad! I'm a really inconsistant player (the poker gods are very fickle, don'tcha know) but I'm having a blast.

On June 18th I'm playing in a blogger tourney at PokerStars.net. Scroll to the bottom of this page and check it out! Hopefully I won't go out in the first 3 hands... LOL

News From the Home Front!

Politics - new day, same crap. Between Harper and Bush I just have to shake my head and sigh. The only bright spot (and thank you bloggers for insuring we even heard about it) was Stephen Colbert's brilliant and scandalous skewering of the president et al, including the dickless media. If you haven't heard his address, here you go. You need to see this. To read the transcript, go here (with thanks to the Daily Kos.)

But enough of that, because I have huge news on the home front! As you may know (but probably don't,) my family has been in flux for the last several years as I've been sponsoring my wife's permanent immigration to Canada. We are both originally from the States (I escaped in 1989, she in 2000.) Imagine - to want to live in a country in which we feel safe, that sanctions our marriage, and that allows me to sponsor her! What can we be thinking! ::sarcasm off - mini rant for our "friends" in the US who are sad that we "cut and ran"::

A bit of background... We began our relationship in 2000. Had a Joining Ceremony in 2001. (We call that our Emotional Wedding.) Began exploring sponsorship in 2003 when the law changed to allow same sex couples to sponsor under the family class as commonlaw. Decided we would rather get legally married, and planned for that after BC changed provincial law to allow it. Got married in 2004 (our Legal Wedding) and began the application process.

All that time my wife has been a "visitor" in Canada - here legally on a visa but not allowed to work, go to school, etc. The joke was that she couldn't get sick because she couldn't go on my insurance. (Thankfully, she didn't.) Money moved back and forth from tight, to very tight, to just crazy sleepless tight. Six years in limbo is a long time.

However, last Friday, May 12 2006, she became a Landed Immigrant!!!!!

Wow. We hadn't realized just how stressed we had been until the stress came off. Up until the last minute, DW was worried that the Powers That Be would change their collective minds, and put her on a bus to Seattle. Not because she had broken any laws, but just because... (Don't get me started on the fact that living the last few years in the US helped bring on that mentality...)

Anyway - she has now been added to my insurance. Her SIN card is on the way. She can begin to advertise her business and actually make some money.

And she's counting the days until she can apply for Citizenship (just like I did all those years ago.)

So Welcome to Canada, sweetie. We'll make that appointment at the tat shop for your Maple Leaf now!

(The beautiful watercolour included in this post is of the Peace River in northeastern BC, where we live. I found it on the net, so with many thanks to the artist...)

See what I mean?

A perfect illustration of my post below...

This and that....

Wow. Sorry I've been so negligent. I have all the basic excuses - work in the way, had to travel a bit... But the truth is that the news has finally started getting to me, so I've been avoiding it. And I can't very well comment on something if I'm not paying any attention to it, now can I?

So I looked around to see what the latest is in the land of Harper - didn't find much. I guess that's what happens when the PM essentially muzzles the press .

It's no surprise that Harper is no friend to an open media. He's like his idol, Dubya, in that regard. Especially the damn liberal media - who only want to critize him. One of his henchmen (Colin Mayes, Tory MP from BC) actually advocated jailing reporters who "skew the news." WTF? Yes, he retracted his statement - but what about the message he sent?

Dubya has been leading the states down the path toward "1984" since he stole the 2000 election. So what did we do? Put his number one fan in power. Not one of our smarter moments.

And the result? Harper will continue his Baby Bush imitation, running the country as he sees fit and listening to no one.

No wonder I've been avoiding the news...

Look what the Russians turned up....

Sorry I've been so quiet lately, but springtime in the great white north has consisted of blowing snow and wind chill of -35. So I've been doing the most logical thing - staying parked in front of the computer playing online poker. Why is it that I can blow $100 on a night out without batting an eye, but losing $2.37 in a poker game drives me crazy?

Anyway, my new preoccupation has kept me from reading a lot of news lately. Good thing, too. I came up for air today and found this in my inbox. If the Russians have it right... Crap.

If I'm going to get a migraine, I'd rather it be because my Aces full of Queens gets beat by Aces full of Kings. That's poker. Something I can trust...

And the War Rages On...

Non Sequitor by Wiley Miller

The civil war that has erupted in Iraq between the Sunnis and Shiites has gotten me thinking about the even bigger worldwide battle. You know - the one between those of us who realize that the planet is composed of a myriad of beliefs and that's more than ok, and those who want us all to believe EXACTLY as they do, and they'll go so far as to kill us in order to save us. Those people who insist that their god is the only one, and their way of worship is the only way - the one's who would send me and my people to exodus groups and straight camps.

Thinking about this topic tends to give me a migraine. So instead, I want to share with you a post by John Hintergerger of the Seattle Times (original date unknown) that hit my inbox, and made me laugh. It's long, but bear with me - I hope you enjoy it.

"Ahhhhoooo!"

"Shhh! You can't howl in the Board of Education offices."

"Now hold on! What in the name of God are you people doing? What are you dressed up in all those old fur vests?"

"You guessed it! We're here in the name of God. We are the elders of the United Church of Barbarians, Orthodox Pagans and Druids, Scientist."

"Ahhhhhhhhoooooo!"

"Pipe down, Beowulf. Beowulf sometimes gets carried away."

"Oh, I get it. You are here to protest the school prayer amendment issue."

"No. No. We are all for it. It's time someone put Thor back into the classroom."

"Thor?"

"Sure, Thor. Also Woden, Frigga, and the Ancient Ones. You see, we heard that under the terms of the president's proposed amendment to allow school prayer, the content of the prayers could be taken from classic world religions or be written by local clergy. We just want to make sure that our congregation is represented."

"That seems reasonable, but it seems you're a rather minor ..."

"Ahhhhhooooo!"

"Beowulf, knockin' sie off! Sir, we are a nation of religious minorities. With 51 million members, the Roman Catholics are the largest single denomination (there are about a half million evangelical Christians by comparison), but the United States doesn't have a dominant religion."

"I see. Well, what form of prayer do you want?"

"It varies. On Monday, we'd appreciate if all of the children could bow their heads and worship the moon."

"The Moon!"

"Well, that's what it means. Moon day, from Monan Daeg or Montag. What did you think Monday meant? Moon Day is kinda special to us. We like to howl a bit."

"Well, I suppose since it's only one day of the ..."

"Now Tuesday is another matter. Tuesdays we think the children should drink mead and practice sword fights."

"Sword fights!"

"Well, perhaps it would be enough if they just had a silent moment of bloody thoughts in honor of Tui,k the Teutonic god of war. I mean, if you're going to use the name of our war god on your calendar, at least pay him a little appropriate respect."

"Tui likes swords?"

"Loves 'em. Wednesday, of course is our big day. We really go nuts on Wednesday. Woden is our chief Teutonic god (and also Olaf theNorselanders -- he calls him Odin) and Wodnesdaeg is our day of religious frenzy. If you look up the root words in old German, you'll find that wodeno means raging or insane, or carried away by the spirit. We like to do it up right. Lots of chanting and howling."

"Ahhhhhhhhoooooo!"

"Shhh, Beowulf. I know it's Wednesday, but lighten up. Thursday, the schoolchildren should make great groaning noises for a minute or two. It's the day of Thunder."

"But what about Jesus? And God? And the Virgin Mary? What about them? We can't have all the kids in America groaning every Thursday."

"God? What do you think we're talking about? As for the other two you mentioned, they are relative newcomers. If you don't want your kids to worship Thor, the god of thunder, on Thursdays, stop using His name in vain."

"I suppose you have plans for Friday as well."

"Funny you should ask. Friday is a day for making love. Now, here's our plan ..."

"Stop! You can't impose your crazy values on the children of the nation."

"Frigga ..."

"Don't talk to me like that!"

"Friday is Frigga's day. Frigga is the wife of Woden. It's the day of love, of warmth, of passion. It's always been. Even the Romans called it Veneris Dies, Venus's day. And statistically, more Americans make love on Friday night than on any other night of the week. Frigg (or Frigga) is very big."

"I don't care!"

"Don't you want your children to know what Friday means? They'll be saying it all their lives."

"I don't want them to know anything about all this wierdo rubbish. I just want them to put God back in the schools, where He belongs."

"So do we. But whose god? "

"Mine. Ours!"

"Ahhhhhhoooooo!"

"Oh, go ahead, Beowulf. What the heck, it's Wodensdaeg. Get spiritual. Go crazy."

What to do, what to do...

Throw in Survivor, and you have my dilemma tonight!

Fundies preparing for assault on our rights...

I found this amazing, and thoroughly scary link through Canuck Attitude (another great blog,) and wanted to add my own link to it. (Reading something third hand works in this instance...) Dave at The Galloping Beaver has written a great post that should be read by every Canadian who values protecting our civil rights. I won't take up any more of your time - CLICK! READ!

Why Ronald, Why?

What is the world coming to?

Emerson won't be a man and face a by-election. Harper is blind to the Reformers Conservatives' drop in the polls. Bush still cries "trust me!" and claims to have his public's best interest at heart. But these guys are politicians - the assumption that the world revolves around them is a given. Their behaviour is no surprise.

But friends, I am shocked and saddened. Because we have been lied to by North America's most famous clown. And when a clown lies to you... it's bad and sad and pathetic and just a low point in the evolution of our so called civilized world.

The news came today that Mcdonald's friench fries, touted for years as gluton and dairy free, are chock-full of - well, gluton and dairy. Which doesn't really matter... unless guton and/or dairy makes you sick. First it was beef tallow. Then the secret "natural ingredient." (Have we ever discovered exactly what that is?) Hey - maybe it's gluton and diary!

Personally, I always knew that there was something in those fries besides potatoes. But as addictive as they are - I thought it was crack.

Trivia from south of the 49th...

(I found this in my inbox this week...)

NBA, MLB, NHL, OR NFL?

36 have been accused of spousal abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad checks
117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3 have done time for assault

71,(yes)repeat 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 currently are defendants in lawsuits, and
84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

Can you guess which organization this is?
Give up yet? . . .


None of the above,
It's the 535 members of the United States Congress.
The same group of Idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws
each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.


Anybody know how our new Parliment would stand up to this?

It's a lesbian thing...

While I was in Vancouver this week I had dinner with my close friend C and her lovely partner, T. This astounded many of my colleagues, who earnestly questioned whether things were all right at home, and if my wife knew what I was doing. They claimed to be looking out for my welfare. I was confused. Don't they go out with friends?

"But she's your EX!" they cried. "You don't go out with your EX!" "I'd kill my husband if he was seeing his ex!"

Lesbians are defined by a vast number of stereotypes. Being a community of ex's is one of the most famous, along with the need for a UHaul on the second date and the fruit basket turnover at the start of softball season. (Wait - I suppose fbt is part of the community of ex's thing...) We have been known to form attachments quickly and deeply. And many of us have maintained close bonds with those who were once our one true love. C&T were the witnesses when X and I got married, and hosted our wedding in their home!

C and I have figured that we've been family in all our past lives, but we had never done the partner thing - and we do "family" better than we do "partner." Makes sense to me...

I do think that the whole "being friends with your ex" thing - while not totally unique to my people - is something that lesbians do better than straight folks. It isn't onesizefitsall... I have an ex or two that I'd cross the street to avoid. But on the whole - I really like the fact that someone who has known me so well for so long, is the same someone I can count on now...

It's a lesbian thing...

On second review...

Ok, so perhaps I was drunk last night with the happiness of Jay getting the bums rush in the Cabinet appointments. Or maybe that spicy burrito I had for supper clouded my judgement. I only know that, in the light of day, I was too optimistic about the Cabinet.

In my second reading I'm freaking out! Toews for Justice Minister??? And Day as Minister of Security??? Yikes! Toews doesn't believe we deserve ANY protection under the Charter - he's made that loud and clear. And Day believes that cave men walked with dinasaurs when the world was created 6000 years ago.

Please read today's Xtra.ca for a great explaination of what might very well be in store for us.

Where's Jay?

Wow. I say again - wow. Up here in the boonies of BC, the Conservatives were grinnin' and chuckin' and tellin' everyone that would listen how the North would rise again and we were in the money now that Harper was in power. After all, Jay Hill has been a little c Conservative (and every other socially right wing party member...) since god was a child. He was the biggest grinner of 'em all. He was going to make sure that us homosexuals got what was comin' to us - mainly, the roll back of our rights.

But low and behold, Harper was sworn in and announced his cabinet - and Jay Hill isn't on it. Instead there is David Emerson who won as a Liberal just 2 weeks ago by declaring the Tories were the devil. Now he's a Tory. (What does that make him? I'll ask some of the ONLY 4500 people who voted him on over the NDP candidate - they might have some choice words...)

Does this really mean that Harper is sincerely moving to the middle?

Only time will tell.

Is it Notwithstanding or Not?

I've been really confused by Stevie's proclamations about using the notwithstanding clause to eliminate my rights under the Charter. And now I know why. He really has been saying two different things. Check out this article by Brenda Cossman, a law professor at U of T. It finally makes sense.

Keep saying you're a moderate, Stevie... Maybe you can sell some bridges while you're at it.

Secret Harper/Bush Call Revealed!

Harper's been saying that his private phone conversation with Bushie was nothing more than simple congrats... But now we know the truth! Click here for the actual transcript!!!

Betrayed by the Globe and Mail

Ok, so far Harper has:

• demonstrated his "family values" by stiffly shaking his kids hands as they went into school,
• had a private heart to heart with Dubya,
• and vowed to secure the artic for Canada.

Oh - and this: (from the Globe and Mail) "Asked for a timeline on his promise to revisit the same-sex-marriage debate, Mr. Harper said he expected to revisit the issue "within the life of Parliament."

"I would prefer to do it sooner rather than later, but not immediately," he said.

A statement issued by Vote Marriage Canada — a group devoted to having the traditional definition of marriage restored — said that "as many as 45 per cent" of the members of the new Parliament may support its position."

(get the full article here)

What I want to know is WHY THE HELL is the Globe and Mail quoting the shit spewed by Vote Marriage Canada??? Are they now an objective news source?! What the FUCK???

Take an actual poll, G&M - I dare you. 45%?? Bullshit.

We know the media behaved like it was Harper's love slave during the election. Looks like they are still blowing him.

And we're still getting screwed.

You think?

A New Day

Ok. It's a new day. Harper is PM - with a government that is more minority than the last one...

You could hear the collective sigh of relief at about 10:30 pacific time last night, as Canada proved once again that we are a country that loves the middle ground. Talk last week of a possible Conservative majority was enough to make us start thinking again. Sure - everyone is sick of the Liberals. But giving the Reformers the keys to the kingdom? Nope - not quite ready to go there.

Today national thinking seems to be on two tracks:

• That the allocation of seats will ensure that the Harperites will be unable to annex us to the US, and that women, gays and lesbians, and the poor are safe for now...
• OR, that because the seats are allocated as they are, Harper, et al will push harder than ever to annex us to the US, gut our social programs, and make my legal marriage disappear.

Can you guess which track I'm supporting??

Everyone keeps assuring me that the Liberals and the Bloc will keep Harper in line. But what if the rumours are true, and Harper has bought the Bloc?

Fingers crossed...

We're being watched...

Michael Moore Statement on Canadian Election

Michael Moore is currently in production on his next movie. As an avid lover of all things Canadian, he has issued the following statement regarding Canada's upcoming election on Monday:

Oh, Canada -- you're not really going to elect a Conservative majority on Monday, are you? That's a joke, right? I know you have a great sense of humor, and certainly a well-developed sense of irony, but this is no longer funny. Maybe it's a new form of Canadian irony -- reverse irony!

OK, now I get it. First, you have the courage to stand against the war in Iraq -- and then you elect a prime minister who's for it. You declare gay people have equal rights -- and then you elect a man who says they don't. You give your native peoples their own autonomy and their own territory -- and then you vote for a man who wants to cut aid to these poorest of your citizens. Wow, that is intense! Only Canadians could pull off a hat trick of humor like that. My hat's off to you.

Far be it from me, as an American, to suggest what you should do. You already have too many Americans telling you what to do. Well, actually, you've got just one American who keeps telling you to roll over and fetch and sit. I hope you don't feel this appeal of mine is too intrusive but I just couldn't sit by, as your friend, and say nothing.

Yes, I agree, the Liberals have some 'splainin' to do. And yes, one party in power for more than a decade gets a little... long. But you have a parliamentary system (I'll bet you didn't know that -- see, that's why you need Americans telling you things!). There are ways at the polls to have your voices heard other than throwing the baby out with the bath water.

These are no ordinary times, and as you go to the polls on Monday, you do so while a man running the nation to the south of you is hoping you can lend him a hand by picking Stephen Harper because he's a man who shares his world view. Do you want to help George Bush by turning Canada into his latest conquest? Is that how you want millions of us down here to see you from now on? The next notch in the cowboy belt? C'mon, where's your Canadian pride? I mean, if you're going to reduce Canada to a cheap download of Bush & Co., then at least don't surrender so easily. Can't you wait until he threatens to bomb Regina? Make him work for it, for Pete's sake.

But seriously, I know you're not going to elect a guy who should really be running for governor of Utah. Whew! I knew it! You almost had me there. Very funny. Don't do that again. God, I love you, you crazy cold wonderful neighbors to my north. Don't ever change.

Michael Moore

Too Little Too Late?...

I live a quiet life out in the boonies of northeastern BC. My vote on Monday is purely a statement of conscience, because I live in Jay Hill's riding, and the polls say he's leading with 55%. I've lived my life these past years trying to ignore him - and that's been entirely possible with the Reform/Conservatives in the opposition.

So the realistic possiblity of tempering a Tory landslide is not something I'm privy to outside my connection to the rest of the nation via the internet. Today I came across Think Twice and I'm glad that I'm certainly not alone in my worries about our nation's future. But is it too little too late?

Are there enough progressives and moderates in southern Ontario to make a difference? Are the Quebecers really buying the siren song of that wolf in sheep's clothing ?

My people are rushing to the alter in anticipation of the new world order on Tuesday. We know the Tory plan is reckless and will ultimately fail. But it's definitely a "two steps back" scenerio.

And all I can do is sit here in the boonies and wait, and watch...